How is it possible for you to make a profit off of $0.99 whole wheat pizza dough (8 servings!) and $5.99 malbecs? Your business acumen and customer service skills are incredibly sexy. I can only imagine you to be as good looking and charming as you are profit-margin-savvy. Is there a Mrs. Trader Joe? Does she look the other way? Or is your life, your love and your lady the sea and bargain groceries?
I knew it was too good to be true. Oh well. We’ll always have our mango and chicken sausage ($3.99 for 5) and chicken dumplings ($3.29).
Eyeing you in the checkout aisle,
I could live in this freaking store.
Is there a cure? My mouth is burning from the cinnamon.
Remember how in the 90s, teenagers used to get really intense about updating their AOL profiles and you could search for people from your high school or whatever? Isn’t it sort of funny that this is never mentioned as a Facebook predecessor?
Related: I would KILL to be able to find out what my AOL profile said.
ME TOO. Especially since my screen name was “CatFlower.”